Close:
Adverb
1. To throng closely together.
2. To lessen and intervening distance; gain.
3. To make contact or come close.
En-coun-ter:
Intransitive Verb
1. To meet accidentally or in opposition.
For ex., Brian has a close encounter with a murderer.
Event 1. Brian frequents 128 Billiards to visit Charlene, a bartender.
Event 2. Brian meets another frequenter and a friend of Charlene, Mikey, mid September. He is with several of his friends; a girl named Lorna and their mutal friend from Puerto Rico.
Event 3. On Wednesday October 3, Brian, Erik, and Sarah go to a Bloc Party concert. Coincidentally, Mikey and Lorna sit one row behind them. Brian says hi to both.
Event 4. On Thursday October 4, Charlene quits 128 Billiards
Event 5. On Saturday October 6, Brian, Charlene, Erik, Sarah, and their mutual friends go to Sola's in the East Village to celebrate Erik's and Ran's birthday for the evening. Charlene declines an invitation from Mikey to hang out with him and Lorna.
Event 6. On Tuesday October 9, Charlene receives a text from her former employers inquiring about Mikey. They inform her that Mikey has been involved in a homocide. Brian and Charlene suspect that Mikey may have been killed.
Event 7. Brian finds a New York Post article titled, In Bed with Dead Lover.
"A sicko Chinatown artist strangled his new girlfriend - and then slept beside her rotting corpse for two nights, investigators said yesterday."
"On Saturday night, he and his girlfriend, a woman in her 30s whose name was withheld pending family notification, went to Rick's Cabaret, a topless bar on West 33rd Street, where he spent $50 to buy her lap dances, investigators said. After Rick's, they went back to his apartment on the 39th floor of 20 Confucius Plaza, a place he shares with his ailing grandmother, who is in her 80s. The doorman told cops they were smiling and happy as they came in. On Sunday, however, the couple, who had been dating for just a week, got into an argument. Lenahan demanded the $50 back. The woman refused and kicked him in the groin. Lenahan then lost it, grabbed her by the throat and choked her, investigators said."
The woman is Lorna. Brian can see the 20 Confucius Plaza tower from his window.
Brian has a close encounter with a murderer.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Foo Words: War
War:
noun
1. A conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air.
2. A state or period of armed hostility or active military operations.
3. A contest carried on by force of arms, as in a series of battles or campaigns: the War of 1812.
4. Active hostility or contention; conflict; contest: a war of words.
5. A struggle: a war for men's minds; a war against poverty.
For ex., FLR 4 wages war against Splinter and the Modest Mouse Brigade. Witness these series of events:
Setting: Chinatown, near Mott St., the smelliest and fishiest of all of Manhattan. The pungent aroma of discarded fish innards attracts and nurishes the most street hardened of ninja rodents.
Battle Scenes: FLR 4 Kitchen, Brian's room, FLR 4 Living Room,
Event 1: Initial Reconnaisance, April 2007. A single brown mouse makes an appearance. He is deemed "cute" and a "pet" by FLR 4.
Event 2: Inital Breakdown of FLR 4 Defenses, early June 2007. There is a washer and dryer on FLR 4. The washer, however, is routed to a bathroom. When dumping water, the washing machine overloads the bathroom drain pipe, pushing raw sewage back onto the bathroom floor. To fix this problem, the washer's drain pipe is rerouted to the main drain pipe in the kitchen.
In the process, the plumber removes the stove, cabinets, and kitchen sink, and pokes two large holes into the kitchen wall in search of said pipe. The kitchen is then reconstructed; the washing machine's drain pipe is routed behind the stove, through the cabinets, out a hole the kitchen wall, and into the main drain pipe.
Event 3: The Battle of the Sink Cabinet, mid June 2007 to early August 2007.
a. First Strike: Splinter. The two gaping holes allows rats to enter FLR 4. Initially, the residents of FLR 4 hear a loud scurrying noise under the kitchen sink, but do not think twice of it.
b. Red Alert, early July 2007. As the noises continue, Erik investigates. To his horror, he witnesses the longest of rat tails disappearing back into the kitchen wall. It is Splinter.
c. First Defense: Seal the Perimeter. Due to the well documented size, strength, dexterity, and ingenuity of Splinter, Brian fears he may eventually push through the cabinet door and enter the FLR 4 lair. Brian tapes the cabinet doors shut and posts a sign stating: "Splinter lives here! Do Not Open!!!"
d. Splinter Invades, late July 2007. Splinter is very clever and adaptable. Unbeknowst to FLR 4, there is a hole in the side of the cabinet that allows the washer's drain pipe to run behind the stove, into the cabinet and out the kitchen wall. Splinter discovers this break in the perimeter and pushes through. He begins scouting the kitchen and makes appearances late at night. Female residents of FLR 4 scream and shriek.
e. Second Defense: Brian and Erik brainstorm. The decision is made to attack the source of the perimeter breach and reclaim lost FLR 4 territory. Armed with a broom and knife, Brian and Erik announce their arrival by knocking loudly on the sink cabinet. Splinter retreats. Tape is removed. Cabinet doors open.
Using Ran's parting gift, the two stuff the gaping holes in the kitchen wall full of discarded clothing.
f. Final Defense, early August 2007: After much ballywho'd discussion and argument with FLR 4's management company, the plumber finally returns to FLR 4. Clothing is removed and metal plates are installed. Splinter is locked out.
FLR 4 wins.
Event 4. The Battle of the Radiator, late August 2007.
a. Territory Lost: Brian hears scurrying noises in his bedroom all summer. Yu Lien purchases sticky pad mouse traps late August 2007.
b. Instigating Behavior, Modest Moust Brigade: Brian does not have a dedicated trash can in his bedroom. He has, rather, a dedicated bag full of trash. Late one night he hears scurrying noises. He looks down and sees a Modest Mouse Brigade agent pock his head out from underneath the trash bag and retreat back into the darkness. Investing the trashbag, Brian sees many holes the mouse has already chewed.
c. First Attack, Brian: The trash bag sits between Brian's desk, his stairs to the fire escape, and in front of the radiator. He places a sticky trap in front of the radiator. Within 3 minutes he hears a mouse crying. Its hind legs are stuck while its front legs are scurrying with all its might to escape.
d. Disposal, Brian: Said mouse is thrown over the balcony.
e. Second Attack, Brian: 30 minutes later Brian hears more scurrying noises. Another sticky trap goes down. 5 minutes later another mouse goes over the balcony.
Brian Wins.
Event 5. The Battle of FLR 4, late September 2007 to late October 2007.
a. Territory Lost: The Modest Mouse Brigade likes to run the perimeter of the living behind the entertainment unit, the couches and into the kitchen, running behind the fridge, across the kitchen floor, under the stove and into the laundry closet. They run this circuit over and over. The issue is that mice are in heat once every three days. They are capable of producing a litter up to 5 pups up to 8 times a year. They know no bounds and are incestuous.
b. First Strike, FLR 4. Sticky pads are initially placed under the radiator in the living room, behind the couch, and behind the entertainment unit. No success.
c. Second Strike, FLR 4. Sticky pads are placed behind the fridge and in front of the stove. Mice are caught. Nick decides to step on one. Ran (visiting for a weekend) tries to free one and rips its legs off in the process. Mouse size: small.
d. Increased efforts, FLR 4. Sticky pads are upgraded to the large size. More mice are caught. Erik decides to crush one with a commercial size dolly. Megan screams. Erik is a casualty, being stuck himself to a sticky pad. Mouse size: small and large.
e. Final Strike, FLR 4. Another round of sticky pads are laid out. All mice caught are large and fat.
f. Clean Up Duty, FLR 4. Another round of sticky pads are laid out. No mice caught.
FLR 4 Wins.
FLR 4 waged war with and defeated Splinter and the Modest Mouse Brigade.
noun
1. A conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air.
2. A state or period of armed hostility or active military operations.
3. A contest carried on by force of arms, as in a series of battles or campaigns: the War of 1812.
4. Active hostility or contention; conflict; contest: a war of words.
5. A struggle: a war for men's minds; a war against poverty.
For ex., FLR 4 wages war against Splinter and the Modest Mouse Brigade. Witness these series of events:
Setting: Chinatown, near Mott St., the smelliest and fishiest of all of Manhattan. The pungent aroma of discarded fish innards attracts and nurishes the most street hardened of ninja rodents.
Battle Scenes: FLR 4 Kitchen, Brian's room, FLR 4 Living Room,
Event 1: Initial Reconnaisance, April 2007. A single brown mouse makes an appearance. He is deemed "cute" and a "pet" by FLR 4.
Event 2: Inital Breakdown of FLR 4 Defenses, early June 2007. There is a washer and dryer on FLR 4. The washer, however, is routed to a bathroom. When dumping water, the washing machine overloads the bathroom drain pipe, pushing raw sewage back onto the bathroom floor. To fix this problem, the washer's drain pipe is rerouted to the main drain pipe in the kitchen.
In the process, the plumber removes the stove, cabinets, and kitchen sink, and pokes two large holes into the kitchen wall in search of said pipe. The kitchen is then reconstructed; the washing machine's drain pipe is routed behind the stove, through the cabinets, out a hole the kitchen wall, and into the main drain pipe.
Event 3: The Battle of the Sink Cabinet, mid June 2007 to early August 2007.
a. First Strike: Splinter. The two gaping holes allows rats to enter FLR 4. Initially, the residents of FLR 4 hear a loud scurrying noise under the kitchen sink, but do not think twice of it.
b. Red Alert, early July 2007. As the noises continue, Erik investigates. To his horror, he witnesses the longest of rat tails disappearing back into the kitchen wall. It is Splinter.
c. First Defense: Seal the Perimeter. Due to the well documented size, strength, dexterity, and ingenuity of Splinter, Brian fears he may eventually push through the cabinet door and enter the FLR 4 lair. Brian tapes the cabinet doors shut and posts a sign stating: "Splinter lives here! Do Not Open!!!"
d. Splinter Invades, late July 2007. Splinter is very clever and adaptable. Unbeknowst to FLR 4, there is a hole in the side of the cabinet that allows the washer's drain pipe to run behind the stove, into the cabinet and out the kitchen wall. Splinter discovers this break in the perimeter and pushes through. He begins scouting the kitchen and makes appearances late at night. Female residents of FLR 4 scream and shriek.
e. Second Defense: Brian and Erik brainstorm. The decision is made to attack the source of the perimeter breach and reclaim lost FLR 4 territory. Armed with a broom and knife, Brian and Erik announce their arrival by knocking loudly on the sink cabinet. Splinter retreats. Tape is removed. Cabinet doors open.
Using Ran's parting gift, the two stuff the gaping holes in the kitchen wall full of discarded clothing.
f. Final Defense, early August 2007: After much ballywho'd discussion and argument with FLR 4's management company, the plumber finally returns to FLR 4. Clothing is removed and metal plates are installed. Splinter is locked out.
FLR 4 wins.
Event 4. The Battle of the Radiator, late August 2007.
a. Territory Lost: Brian hears scurrying noises in his bedroom all summer. Yu Lien purchases sticky pad mouse traps late August 2007.
b. Instigating Behavior, Modest Moust Brigade: Brian does not have a dedicated trash can in his bedroom. He has, rather, a dedicated bag full of trash. Late one night he hears scurrying noises. He looks down and sees a Modest Mouse Brigade agent pock his head out from underneath the trash bag and retreat back into the darkness. Investing the trashbag, Brian sees many holes the mouse has already chewed.
c. First Attack, Brian: The trash bag sits between Brian's desk, his stairs to the fire escape, and in front of the radiator. He places a sticky trap in front of the radiator. Within 3 minutes he hears a mouse crying. Its hind legs are stuck while its front legs are scurrying with all its might to escape.
d. Disposal, Brian: Said mouse is thrown over the balcony.
e. Second Attack, Brian: 30 minutes later Brian hears more scurrying noises. Another sticky trap goes down. 5 minutes later another mouse goes over the balcony.
Brian Wins.
Event 5. The Battle of FLR 4, late September 2007 to late October 2007.
a. Territory Lost: The Modest Mouse Brigade likes to run the perimeter of the living behind the entertainment unit, the couches and into the kitchen, running behind the fridge, across the kitchen floor, under the stove and into the laundry closet. They run this circuit over and over. The issue is that mice are in heat once every three days. They are capable of producing a litter up to 5 pups up to 8 times a year. They know no bounds and are incestuous.
b. First Strike, FLR 4. Sticky pads are initially placed under the radiator in the living room, behind the couch, and behind the entertainment unit. No success.
c. Second Strike, FLR 4. Sticky pads are placed behind the fridge and in front of the stove. Mice are caught. Nick decides to step on one. Ran (visiting for a weekend) tries to free one and rips its legs off in the process. Mouse size: small.
d. Increased efforts, FLR 4. Sticky pads are upgraded to the large size. More mice are caught. Erik decides to crush one with a commercial size dolly. Megan screams. Erik is a casualty, being stuck himself to a sticky pad. Mouse size: small and large.
e. Final Strike, FLR 4. Another round of sticky pads are laid out. All mice caught are large and fat.
f. Clean Up Duty, FLR 4. Another round of sticky pads are laid out. No mice caught.
FLR 4 Wins.
FLR 4 waged war with and defeated Splinter and the Modest Mouse Brigade.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Foo Words: Sass, Harass, and an Asshole
Sass:
verb
1. Impudent or disrespectful back talk.
2. To answer back in an impudent manner.
Ha-rass:
verb
1. To disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute.
2. To trouble by repeated attacks, incursions, etc., as in war or hostilities; harry; raid.
Ass-hole:
noun
1. Insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.
2. Vulgar slang for anus.
Adjectives to describe general behavior on FLR 4. Those without the qualities listed above will be subjected to continual embarassment and a state of complete frustration.
verb
1. Impudent or disrespectful back talk.
2. To answer back in an impudent manner.
Ha-rass:
verb
1. To disturb persistently; torment, as with troubles or cares; bother continually; pester; persecute.
2. To trouble by repeated attacks, incursions, etc., as in war or hostilities; harry; raid.
Ass-hole:
noun
1. Insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.
2. Vulgar slang for anus.
Adjectives to describe general behavior on FLR 4. Those without the qualities listed above will be subjected to continual embarassment and a state of complete frustration.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Sundays, 2 pm to 9 pm
Sunday is a day of rest.
But at FLR 4, Sunday is a day for afternoon activities. There is work M-F (hence the term work week), and much energy cannot be exerted Saturday afternoons, as one must be rested and prepared for the ensuing Saturday Night debauchery. Sunday night, one must bed early to arise for work Monday morning. Thus, Sunday is the appropriate day to enjoy afternoons in New York City.
The residents of FLR 4 typically spend these afternoons discovering and wandering the streets of New York City. It can be as simple as Erik, Foo, and Brian walking the streets of Soho and perusing the boutiques for fashionable clothing, or as energetic and intense as a day filled with debauchery, attending events such as Rock the Bells (an all day music event on Randall's Island, featuring Rage Against the Machine), Recovery Cruise (a 4 hour boat ride up and down both the East and Hudson Rivers, entertainment provided by live house DJs and cash bar), or Pool Parties at McCarren Park Pool.
However, there are calmer Sundays filled with movie theatre outings, guitar playing at Union Square, grass enjoying at Central Park, or brunching at La Esquina. Lasquina's pepito tortas, grilled corn, and tortilla soup are heavenly, btw.
Sunday is a day for afternoon activites.
But at FLR 4, Sunday is a day for afternoon activities. There is work M-F (hence the term work week), and much energy cannot be exerted Saturday afternoons, as one must be rested and prepared for the ensuing Saturday Night debauchery. Sunday night, one must bed early to arise for work Monday morning. Thus, Sunday is the appropriate day to enjoy afternoons in New York City.
The residents of FLR 4 typically spend these afternoons discovering and wandering the streets of New York City. It can be as simple as Erik, Foo, and Brian walking the streets of Soho and perusing the boutiques for fashionable clothing, or as energetic and intense as a day filled with debauchery, attending events such as Rock the Bells (an all day music event on Randall's Island, featuring Rage Against the Machine), Recovery Cruise (a 4 hour boat ride up and down both the East and Hudson Rivers, entertainment provided by live house DJs and cash bar), or Pool Parties at McCarren Park Pool.
However, there are calmer Sundays filled with movie theatre outings, guitar playing at Union Square, grass enjoying at Central Park, or brunching at La Esquina. Lasquina's pepito tortas, grilled corn, and tortilla soup are heavenly, btw.
Sunday is a day for afternoon activites.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
FLR 4 Events: Nirvana Remixed
I would pay any amount of money to see this show:
Vocals/Guitar: David Grohl (Foo Fighters Vocalist/Guitars, Former Nirvana Drummer)
Bass: Krist Novoselic (Former Nirvana Bassist)
Drums: Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters Drummer)
David Grohl is the only man alive who would be able to play and sing like Kurt Cobain. Krist Novoselic steps into his old role of bassist and has a prior relationship with Grohl. Taylor Hawkins is Grohl's drummer in Foo Fighters.
Vocals/Guitar: David Grohl (Foo Fighters Vocalist/Guitars, Former Nirvana Drummer)
Bass: Krist Novoselic (Former Nirvana Bassist)
Drums: Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters Drummer)
David Grohl is the only man alive who would be able to play and sing like Kurt Cobain. Krist Novoselic steps into his old role of bassist and has a prior relationship with Grohl. Taylor Hawkins is Grohl's drummer in Foo Fighters.
Foo Words: Pussy
Pus-sy:
noun
1. INFORMAL a cat
2. VULGAR SLANG a woman's genitals
3. INFORMAL a weak, cowardly, effeminate man
For ex., Mel begins dating Anthony. Witness these series of events:
Event 1. Mel goes on a date with Anthony. He then texts Mel three times a day everyday until he sees her the next weekend.
Event 2. Mel sleeps with Anthony after two weeks of contact.
Event 3. After sex, Mel takes a shower and says "hello, you" upon her return. Anthony responds, "you said you love me?"
Event 4. This same day, Anthony asks Mel where this relationship is going because Mel is only in New York for the next 11 months.
Event 5. The next day, Saturday, Anthony visits Mel. He texts her, "I can't wait for you to read me a bedtime story."
Event 6. They spend some time in Mel's bedroom. Erik walks by Mel's room as she walks out. He overhears her saying, "don't worry, don't worry, I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere." Mel hangs in the living room for a moment, then steps out of the apartment to meet a friend. It is approximately 9 pm. Anthony hides in Mel's room for the rest of the night and waits for her return at 3 am.
Event 7. After one month of casual dating, Anthony wants Mel to meet his parents.
Anthony is the definition of a pussy.
noun
1. INFORMAL a cat
2. VULGAR SLANG a woman's genitals
3. INFORMAL a weak, cowardly, effeminate man
For ex., Mel begins dating Anthony. Witness these series of events:
Event 1. Mel goes on a date with Anthony. He then texts Mel three times a day everyday until he sees her the next weekend.
Event 2. Mel sleeps with Anthony after two weeks of contact.
Event 3. After sex, Mel takes a shower and says "hello, you" upon her return. Anthony responds, "you said you love me?"
Event 4. This same day, Anthony asks Mel where this relationship is going because Mel is only in New York for the next 11 months.
Event 5. The next day, Saturday, Anthony visits Mel. He texts her, "I can't wait for you to read me a bedtime story."
Event 6. They spend some time in Mel's bedroom. Erik walks by Mel's room as she walks out. He overhears her saying, "don't worry, don't worry, I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere." Mel hangs in the living room for a moment, then steps out of the apartment to meet a friend. It is approximately 9 pm. Anthony hides in Mel's room for the rest of the night and waits for her return at 3 am.
Event 7. After one month of casual dating, Anthony wants Mel to meet his parents.
Anthony is the definition of a pussy.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Foo Words: Escalate
Es-ca-late:
verb
1. Increase rapidly.
2. Become or cause to be more serious rapidly.
For ex., witness these series of events:
Event 1. Brian returns home on a Monday night after having a few drinks. He uses Meghan's bathroom, which smells lightly of Lysol. Then he pours himself a glass of water in the kitchen and is slapped with a suffocating aroma of ammonia. Knowing that Meghan is the type of person to clean simply to pass the time, Brian uses a dry erase marker to leave Meghan a note: "Meghan, this apartment smells sterile as fuck."
Meghan responds by leaving a hand written note in Brian's room saying: "Ewww stay out of my bathroom. You stink."
Event 2. Brian and Meghan attempt to plan a vacation to Puerto Rico. The plan is for each of them to invite a friend. Brian backs out while Meghan books the trip. During these conversations, Brian calls Meghan a mega lesbo and Meghan calls Brian a homo in joking fashion. At the same time, Erik and Meghan are rolling their change to exchange for bills.
Event 3. Brian takes care the Verizon internet bill and collects bill money from the rest of FLR 4 independantly. Since Meghan is the last to pay, he leaves Meghan a friendly reminder on her bathroom mirror saying: "Meghan, you unshaven lesbo! Pay your fucking bills!!"
The next day Meghan leaves Brian a note on the fridge: "Brian, here is my portion of the bill. The money is neatly rolled and on your shelf. Thanks!"
Brian investigates. He finds a $10 roll of quarters.
Brian writes: "That was good."
Event 4. It is the night before Meghan's Puerto Rico trip. She knows Brian is upset that he is not joining her on vacation. To push his buttons, she draws, on his bathroom mirror, a picture of her flying to Puerto Rico and a caricature of Brian crying in New York. This enrages Brian.
Meghan likes shoes. In her room you will find three neat rows of stillettos, sneakers, and sandals, each 5 feet long. Brian rounds up every last pair in a garbage bag and hides them behind the living room couch. He writes to Meghan: "Good luck walking in PR!!!" Then he climbs into bed and locks his bedroom door.
There is a knock at 3:30am. It is Meghan, home from work, and packing for her 8am flight. Brian decides to ignore her, wanting to make her sweat. 3:35am Meghan knocks again. To this, Brian answers the door and tells Meghan her shoes are out on the street. Meghan's face drops. Her lips quivers. In a shaky voice, she informs Brian that he owes her $600 if they're gone. Brian laughs hysterically and gives back Meghan's shoes.
This is a series of escalating insults and pranks.
verb
1. Increase rapidly.
2. Become or cause to be more serious rapidly.
For ex., witness these series of events:
Event 1. Brian returns home on a Monday night after having a few drinks. He uses Meghan's bathroom, which smells lightly of Lysol. Then he pours himself a glass of water in the kitchen and is slapped with a suffocating aroma of ammonia. Knowing that Meghan is the type of person to clean simply to pass the time, Brian uses a dry erase marker to leave Meghan a note: "Meghan, this apartment smells sterile as fuck."
Meghan responds by leaving a hand written note in Brian's room saying: "Ewww stay out of my bathroom. You stink."
Event 2. Brian and Meghan attempt to plan a vacation to Puerto Rico. The plan is for each of them to invite a friend. Brian backs out while Meghan books the trip. During these conversations, Brian calls Meghan a mega lesbo and Meghan calls Brian a homo in joking fashion. At the same time, Erik and Meghan are rolling their change to exchange for bills.
Event 3. Brian takes care the Verizon internet bill and collects bill money from the rest of FLR 4 independantly. Since Meghan is the last to pay, he leaves Meghan a friendly reminder on her bathroom mirror saying: "Meghan, you unshaven lesbo! Pay your fucking bills!!"
The next day Meghan leaves Brian a note on the fridge: "Brian, here is my portion of the bill. The money is neatly rolled and on your shelf. Thanks!"
Brian investigates. He finds a $10 roll of quarters.
Brian writes: "That was good."
Event 4. It is the night before Meghan's Puerto Rico trip. She knows Brian is upset that he is not joining her on vacation. To push his buttons, she draws, on his bathroom mirror, a picture of her flying to Puerto Rico and a caricature of Brian crying in New York. This enrages Brian.
Meghan likes shoes. In her room you will find three neat rows of stillettos, sneakers, and sandals, each 5 feet long. Brian rounds up every last pair in a garbage bag and hides them behind the living room couch. He writes to Meghan: "Good luck walking in PR!!!" Then he climbs into bed and locks his bedroom door.
There is a knock at 3:30am. It is Meghan, home from work, and packing for her 8am flight. Brian decides to ignore her, wanting to make her sweat. 3:35am Meghan knocks again. To this, Brian answers the door and tells Meghan her shoes are out on the street. Meghan's face drops. Her lips quivers. In a shaky voice, she informs Brian that he owes her $600 if they're gone. Brian laughs hysterically and gives back Meghan's shoes.
This is a series of escalating insults and pranks.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Foo Words: Parting Gift
Par-ting Gift:
noun
1. A thing given to someone willingly without payment when somebody leaves.
For ex., when Ran, and old roommate, moved out of FLR 4, she left half her wardrobe at FLR 4 as a parting gift. This bag of leftover clothing went into storage behind the couch in the living room of FLR 4.
For ex., when Edgar moved to New Jersey, he woke Brian and Erik early afternoon on a Saturday and asked for their moving assistance. But because FLR 4 is on Canal St in Chinatown, his UHaul truck was parked three blocks down the road. Multiple trips from FLR 4 to the UHaul were made. As a parting gift, Erik put Ran's discarded clothing into Edgar's UHaul truck as a parting gift.
For ex., when Erik left of LA for a month, he left Brian a parting gift. He drank his Heinekens, refilled them with water, and put them back in the refridgerator.
noun
1. A thing given to someone willingly without payment when somebody leaves.
For ex., when Ran, and old roommate, moved out of FLR 4, she left half her wardrobe at FLR 4 as a parting gift. This bag of leftover clothing went into storage behind the couch in the living room of FLR 4.
For ex., when Edgar moved to New Jersey, he woke Brian and Erik early afternoon on a Saturday and asked for their moving assistance. But because FLR 4 is on Canal St in Chinatown, his UHaul truck was parked three blocks down the road. Multiple trips from FLR 4 to the UHaul were made. As a parting gift, Erik put Ran's discarded clothing into Edgar's UHaul truck as a parting gift.
For ex., when Erik left of LA for a month, he left Brian a parting gift. He drank his Heinekens, refilled them with water, and put them back in the refridgerator.
Foo Words: Retaliate
Re-tal-i-ate:
verb
1. Make an attack or assault in return for a similar act.
For ex., After Brian and Erik fucked with and punished Edgar, he retaliated. One early Saturday afternoon, Brian was lying in his bed, gently dozing in and out of consciousness. He heard his door creak open and he opened his eyes. To his horror, the smiling face of Edgar appeared, followed immediately by a full pot of water. It was then emptied into Brian's face and bed.
Edgar retaliated against Brian.
verb
1. Make an attack or assault in return for a similar act.
For ex., After Brian and Erik fucked with and punished Edgar, he retaliated. One early Saturday afternoon, Brian was lying in his bed, gently dozing in and out of consciousness. He heard his door creak open and he opened his eyes. To his horror, the smiling face of Edgar appeared, followed immediately by a full pot of water. It was then emptied into Brian's face and bed.
Edgar retaliated against Brian.
Monday, July 30, 2007
4AM - 6AM, Weekends
Series of Events
1. Residents of Floor 4 return to Floor 4 one by one or in pairs.
2a. If a returnee does not encounter another returnee, said returnee will most likely head to sleep.
For ex., after mostly partying at Floor 4, Brian, Erik and Charlotte decide to go to Double Happiness, the local bar, at 1:30 AM. Edgar declines, citing an early work appointment. At some point in the night, the trio decide to steal a seat cushion and begin plotting their scheme. Brian goes on a reconnaisance mission and heads up the back staircase. Being a basement bar, the staircase leads him to the ground level bar, Palais Royale. He walks outside basking at his discovery.
There, James is standing with his 28 yr old roommate who has forgotten his ID. With his newfound discovery, Brian leads the pair down the back staircase to Double Happiness through Palais Royale. A bouncer follows them in and kicks all three out of the venue. Brian cannot return to Erik and Charlotte, nor can he contact them. There is no cell phone service in the basement bar.
Brian and Erik return to Floor 4 separately. Upon Erik's return, Edgar is sleeping. Upon Brian's return, both Erik and Edgar are sleeping.
2b. If a returnee does encounter another returnee, both returnees will most likely stay awake and continue the debauchery. The greater the number of encounters, the greater the likelihood of continued debauchery.
For ex., Brian, Erik, and Charlotte go to the West Village for a Saturday evening. Edgar goes to the Meat Packing District to go clubbing. Meghan goes to work for the evening as a cocktail waitress. Brian and Erik return home at 4:10 AM and immediately begin cooking shrimp flavored Ramen and cheese quesadillas. Around 4:30 AM Edgar returns home and starts dancing. At 4:50 Charlene comes to visit Floor 4 after having finished work at 4:30. Erik and Edgar order more food from Jubilee and request for the delivery of a 6 pack. At 5:05 Edgar lies down on the couch. At 5:20 Edgar lies down in Meghan's room. At 5:30 Meghan returns home and finds Edgar in her bed.
Debauchery continues.
3a. In some cases, if a returnee encounters another returnee who has already passed out, they will recruit others to fuck with those passed out.
For ex., the night Brian got kicked out of the bar, he also forgets his keys. Although Erik was in bed, he wakes up and lets Brian into Floor 4. The two investigate the status of Edgar, who has taken Mel's room (who is out of town) for the night. They stand outside his door and peek in. Edgar, being a light sleeper, wakes up to these two peeking in and starts laughing. Brian and Erik burst in. Erik is armed with a handful of foam shaving cream and slaps it across Edgar's chest. Brian is armed with a can of gel shaving cream. He unleashes a barrage of projectile shaving cream and covers Edgar's chest, legs, arms, and face, along with Mel's sheets, pillows and two walls.
Edgar got fucked with.
3b. In some cases, a returnee will pass out in the presence of other returnees during a state of extended debauchery. These returnees need to punished.
For ex., the night Edgar goes to the Meat Packing District, he lays down on the couch 5:05 AM and passes out without a shirt. As punishment, Brian draws a hairy and squirting cock and balls the length of Edgar's back. Edgar wakes up due to the ensuing laughter and immediately resumes dancing. This burst of energy is short lived and Edgar finds a comfortable place on Meghan's bed.
Brian, Erik, and Charlene do not notice Edgar's absence and react to Meghan's reaction of Edgar. Erik decides to punish Edgar by taking multiple handfuls of grapes and shoving them down the back of Edgar's pants. Then he squishes them. In time Edgar awakens and resumes dancing, unaware of both a pantseat full of grapes and a large cock on his back. It takes him a few moments to register to moisture and says, "what the fuck, did you guys piss in my pants or something?" He reaches back and spill out its contents onto the kitchen floor.
Edgar got punished.
1. Residents of Floor 4 return to Floor 4 one by one or in pairs.
2a. If a returnee does not encounter another returnee, said returnee will most likely head to sleep.
For ex., after mostly partying at Floor 4, Brian, Erik and Charlotte decide to go to Double Happiness, the local bar, at 1:30 AM. Edgar declines, citing an early work appointment. At some point in the night, the trio decide to steal a seat cushion and begin plotting their scheme. Brian goes on a reconnaisance mission and heads up the back staircase. Being a basement bar, the staircase leads him to the ground level bar, Palais Royale. He walks outside basking at his discovery.
There, James is standing with his 28 yr old roommate who has forgotten his ID. With his newfound discovery, Brian leads the pair down the back staircase to Double Happiness through Palais Royale. A bouncer follows them in and kicks all three out of the venue. Brian cannot return to Erik and Charlotte, nor can he contact them. There is no cell phone service in the basement bar.
Brian and Erik return to Floor 4 separately. Upon Erik's return, Edgar is sleeping. Upon Brian's return, both Erik and Edgar are sleeping.
2b. If a returnee does encounter another returnee, both returnees will most likely stay awake and continue the debauchery. The greater the number of encounters, the greater the likelihood of continued debauchery.
For ex., Brian, Erik, and Charlotte go to the West Village for a Saturday evening. Edgar goes to the Meat Packing District to go clubbing. Meghan goes to work for the evening as a cocktail waitress. Brian and Erik return home at 4:10 AM and immediately begin cooking shrimp flavored Ramen and cheese quesadillas. Around 4:30 AM Edgar returns home and starts dancing. At 4:50 Charlene comes to visit Floor 4 after having finished work at 4:30. Erik and Edgar order more food from Jubilee and request for the delivery of a 6 pack. At 5:05 Edgar lies down on the couch. At 5:20 Edgar lies down in Meghan's room. At 5:30 Meghan returns home and finds Edgar in her bed.
Debauchery continues.
3a. In some cases, if a returnee encounters another returnee who has already passed out, they will recruit others to fuck with those passed out.
For ex., the night Brian got kicked out of the bar, he also forgets his keys. Although Erik was in bed, he wakes up and lets Brian into Floor 4. The two investigate the status of Edgar, who has taken Mel's room (who is out of town) for the night. They stand outside his door and peek in. Edgar, being a light sleeper, wakes up to these two peeking in and starts laughing. Brian and Erik burst in. Erik is armed with a handful of foam shaving cream and slaps it across Edgar's chest. Brian is armed with a can of gel shaving cream. He unleashes a barrage of projectile shaving cream and covers Edgar's chest, legs, arms, and face, along with Mel's sheets, pillows and two walls.
Edgar got fucked with.
3b. In some cases, a returnee will pass out in the presence of other returnees during a state of extended debauchery. These returnees need to punished.
For ex., the night Edgar goes to the Meat Packing District, he lays down on the couch 5:05 AM and passes out without a shirt. As punishment, Brian draws a hairy and squirting cock and balls the length of Edgar's back. Edgar wakes up due to the ensuing laughter and immediately resumes dancing. This burst of energy is short lived and Edgar finds a comfortable place on Meghan's bed.
Brian, Erik, and Charlene do not notice Edgar's absence and react to Meghan's reaction of Edgar. Erik decides to punish Edgar by taking multiple handfuls of grapes and shoving them down the back of Edgar's pants. Then he squishes them. In time Edgar awakens and resumes dancing, unaware of both a pantseat full of grapes and a large cock on his back. It takes him a few moments to register to moisture and says, "what the fuck, did you guys piss in my pants or something?" He reaches back and spill out its contents onto the kitchen floor.
Edgar got punished.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Foo Words: the Shit
The Shit
adj
1. Describes something or someone to be amazing.
For ex.,
Erik - "Foo, what does it mean when I say that my phone is 'the shit?'"
Foo - "It's bad?"
adj
1. Describes something or someone to be amazing.
For ex.,
Erik - "Foo, what does it mean when I say that my phone is 'the shit?'"
Foo - "It's bad?"
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Foo Words: Foo Points
Point:
noun
1. A single unit, as in counting, rating, or measuring
2. Sports & Games: A unit of scoring or counting.
Foo Point:
noun
1. A tally accumulated by eliciting particular responses from Foo.
Such as:
- "No!"
- "Fine!"
- "I don't know!"
- "Jeez!"
- "Gosh!"
- "Shut up!"
- "So!"
- "What the hell!"
- ::flick off::
- ::Foo chop::
noun
1. A single unit, as in counting, rating, or measuring
2. Sports & Games: A unit of scoring or counting.
Foo Point:
noun
1. A tally accumulated by eliciting particular responses from Foo.
Such as:
- "No!"
- "Fine!"
- "I don't know!"
- "Jeez!"
- "Gosh!"
- "Shut up!"
- "So!"
- "What the hell!"
- ::flick off::
- ::Foo chop::
Foo Words: Entertainment
En-ter-tain-ment:
noun
1. The act of entertaining; agreeable occupation for the mind; diversion; amusement.
2. Something affording pleasure, diversion, or amusement.
For ex., the residents of Floor Four are without cable television and must divert their attention to avoid boredom. To find entertainment, Erik, Edgar, and Brian fuck with Foo to earn Foo Points.
noun
1. The act of entertaining; agreeable occupation for the mind; diversion; amusement.
2. Something affording pleasure, diversion, or amusement.
For ex., the residents of Floor Four are without cable television and must divert their attention to avoid boredom. To find entertainment, Erik, Edgar, and Brian fuck with Foo to earn Foo Points.
Foo Words: Dilemma
Di-lem-ma:
noun
1. A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives
2. A difficult situation or a problem
3. An argument forcing an opponent to choose either of two unfavorable choices
For ex., should I go to see the Rage Against the Machines show at Randall's Island or go visit my friends from high school and college down in Myrtle Beach next week?
Considering:
a. The Rage Against the Machines, a political funk rock band from the late 90's, is back together -- after being defunct for the foreseeable future -- for THREE dates this summer, two of them at Randall's Island July, 28-29, 2007,
b. My friends Akk, Goose, and Idan have been living in Myrtle Beach for two months Summer Interns for CVS Pharmacy. They leave July 30, 2007.
This is a dilemma.
noun
1. A situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives
2. A difficult situation or a problem
3. An argument forcing an opponent to choose either of two unfavorable choices
For ex., should I go to see the Rage Against the Machines show at Randall's Island or go visit my friends from high school and college down in Myrtle Beach next week?
Considering:
a. The Rage Against the Machines, a political funk rock band from the late 90's, is back together -- after being defunct for the foreseeable future -- for THREE dates this summer, two of them at Randall's Island July, 28-29, 2007,
b. My friends Akk, Goose, and Idan have been living in Myrtle Beach for two months Summer Interns for CVS Pharmacy. They leave July 30, 2007.
This is a dilemma.
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